Engage Church
Engaging God, People, and Culture

For The Culture

Love is Patient

Let me be genuinely honest and say that waiting on “the one” to be revealed to you by God is difficult. In this microwave society we live in, patience isn't necessarily something we like to have, especially when dealing with finding love and relationships. Social media and other entertainment outlets give us this idea that we should date who we want, when we want, and worry about all the repercussions later because we’re too young for love and settle down anyway. That may be true for some, but for me, I am tired of meeting new people in hopes that they are the one I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. Yes, there are times when loneliness sets in and I long for that love and affection I see many of my peers have, but in waiting and walking with God instead of Instagram, I’ve learned more about myself than I ever could doing things my own way.

One thing that I learned is that the wait is allowing me to recognize my worth. I am a very insecure person, so me and relationships already have a very interesting battle because of that alone. But it has less to do with the person I’m with, and more to do with what I’ve allowed myself to be subject to in the relationship. Out of what I thought was love, I've allowed myself to be cheated on, lied to, demeaned, and many other things because I figured with all the insecurities I have, and thinking about my own past, maybe this is the best I'm going to get. But the Bible says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and nobody has the right to treat me in the manner I have allowed myself to be treated for years. I am a child of God. Heir to all the blessings and riches that God has waiting for me, and without acknowledging that first, I cannot be ready for the person God wants me to spend the rest of my life with.

With that in mind, I can also say that this wait has also allowed me to become closer to God and stronger in my faith. Outside of relationships, I’ve had to deal with life, just as many of you have. When certain doors closed, friendships diminished, and money was short, my faith became tested in more ways than one. I got to a point where I secluded myself from everyone and everything, not wanting to even try to fake being happy because honestly, I wasn’t, and had no interest in seeing anyone else happy either. During this time, I just got out of a relationship with someone I fully opened myself up to, thinking that God put this person in my life for the better, but it turned out to be the relationship that changed my whole view on dating, people, and life as a whole. I even stopped going to bible study and ultimately church all together because I couldn’t understand why God was putting me through so much pain. But one day I had a switch. I had a moment with God where I realized that my life means more than the things that I don’t have. It was made clear to me that the people God took out of my life, and the opportunities God didn’t let me have, were done so to allow even greater people and opportunities to manifest themselves in my life, creating a greater future for myself and my future spouse. But none of this can be possible if I don’t trust in him, and from just that one conversation with God, my life was totally given to him, and I let him lead me in all aspects of my life, especially in dealing with relationships. 

Consider this when you’re feeling discourage during these romanticized holidays. No matter what you’ve gone through in life, no matter how many failed relationships you’ve been in, and no matter how much you may put yourself down, God Loves You. No man or woman can match the love God has for you. God is the one who loves you unconditionally. God is the one who keeps you safe and secure. God is the one who shows you his grace and mercy. Above all, God is the one who sent his only son down to die for all of our sins. God is the one, and when you trust in him during this waiting season, he will allow you to realize more about yourself, and how much your life means to him and others around you. God has a purpose for you. Always remember that you are not the only one in this waiting season. You should seek community in those who are also waiting on God and believe in healthy Godly relationships just as you do. So much encouragement and accountability can be had from surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals and knowing that God is in the center of it all, makes the wait so much more worth it. So be patient, pray, and prepare for what God has next.

-Gabe Kohn

Ashley Ervin